Supporting Your Missionary: How the SPACE Program Can Help Parents Empower Their Sons & Daughters
Serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can be one of the most meaningful times in a young adult’s life. It’s also a time of huge growth and big emotions, especially for missionaries who struggle with anxiety. Many parents feel helpless when they get emails full of worries, homesick tears, or repeated questions like, “What if I’m not good enough?” or “What if I’m failing as a missionary?”
At Mountain Home Center for Religious and Moral OCD, we help families navigate these challenges using evidence-based approaches. One of the best tools for parents is a model called SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions). Originally developed for parents of children with anxiety and OCD, SPACE is just as helpful for parents supporting a young missionary far from home.
In this post, you’ll learn how the SPACE approach can help you respond to your missionary’s anxiety in a way that strengthens their resilience, honors their agency, and preserves your connection, without getting pulled into endless reassurance cycles.
Understanding Anxiety on the Mission
Missions are demanding: a new language, a new culture, the pressure to perform, a strict schedule to follow, and often the fear of disappointing companions, leaders, or family back home. For young adults with a tendency toward anxiety, perfectionism, or scrupulosity, these pressures can create a constant swirl of worry: Am I teaching well enough? Am I disappointing my leaders or, worse, Heavenly Father? What if I’m not worthy?
When parents hear about these worries, the natural response is to soothe them: “You’re fine! You’re a great missionary! You’re so faithful!” While loving reassurance can be helpful in moderation, repeated reassurance can unintentionally keep your missionary stuck in an anxiety cycle.
This is where the SPACE model comes in.
What Is SPACE?
SPACE—developed by Dr. Eli Lebowitz at the Yale Child Study Center—teaches parents how to respond supportively to their child’s anxiety while also reducing behaviors that unintentionally accommodate it.
In the context of a mission, “accommodation” might look like:
Writing long emails answering every hypothetical fear.
Texting mission leaders to smooth over your missionary’s worries.
Doing emotional backflips to convince your missionary they’re “okay.”
Telling them exactly what to pray or say to feel better right now.
While these come from love, they send the subtle message: You can’t handle this on your own. Instead, SPACE helps you shift toward clear, calm support while stepping out of the cycle of anxiety-fueled accommodations.
The Two Core Pillars: Support and Non-Accommodation
SPACE has two parts:
Support: You let your missionary know you understand they’re struggling, you believe in their ability to handle it, and you’re here for them with love.
Non-Accommodation: You gradually reduce the ways you rescue them from their anxious thoughts.
Together, this empowers your missionary to build confidence and resilience—skills they need not just on the mission but for life.
How to Use SPACE With Your Missionary
Here are some practical ways you can apply SPACE while staying connected:
1. Express Empathy and Confidence
A supportive response sounds like:
“I know this is so hard for you right now. I really hear how stressed you feel about your worthiness. I also know you’re capable of working through this, and Heavenly Father will guide you.”
This communicates two things: “I get it, and I believe you can handle it.” That’s far more powerful than endless reassurance that they have nothing to worry about.
2. Identify How You’re Accommodating
Ask yourself: How do I jump in when they’re anxious?
Do you write pages of reassurance each week?
Do you let their anxiety dictate the tone of every call?
Do you constantly fact-check their worries with leaders or other parents?
3. Make a Small Change
In SPACE, parents pick one accommodation to reduce first. For example:
If your missionary emails every day asking if they’re failing, you might reply: “I see you’re worried about this again. I’m confident you can handle these thoughts and talk to your mission president if you need more help.”
You don’t ignore them—you stay warm—but you stop giving the same reassurance over and over.
4. Involve Your Missionary When Possible
Sometimes, you can talk with your missionary about why you’re making this change:
“I love you so much. I know I’ve been answering this fear a lot. I think it’s not helping you feel better in the long run. I want to help you build your confidence and trust in yourself. So I’m going to remind you that you can handle it instead of repeating the same answer each time.”
5. Trust the Process
It can feel scary to change how you respond. You may worry you’re being cold or unsupportive. But support is still there—just in a way that empowers your missionary. Over time, this teaches them they can handle uncomfortable thoughts, that they’re stronger than their fears, and that they’re never alone.
Bringing Faith Into the Process
The SPACE approach aligns beautifully with gospel principles: agency, resilience, and trust in God’s grace. You can remind your missionary that their worth is not based on perfect performance. We are all learning and growing. As parents, your role is not to eliminate their struggles, but to lovingly stand with them as they learn they can handle hard things.
You’re Not Alone
If your missionary is struggling with anxiety, OCD, or scrupulosity, you don’t have to navigate this alone. At Mountain Home Center for Religious and Moral OCD, we help parents learn tools like SPACE and provide therapy for young adults before and after missions. We believe that every missionary deserves spiritual clarity, self-compassion, and the confidence to grow—wherever they serve.
Start SPACE Treatment in Provo, UT
Want more resources for supporting your missionary with anxiety?
Mountain Home Center for Religious and Moral OCD can help. We have extensive training and experience using the SPACE method with missionary families, and we would love to talk with you about how we can help. Your love is the greatest support your missionary will ever have—and with the right tools, they can grow in faith and resilience, one step at a time. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
Reach out to schedule a consultation today.
Meet with a caring OCD therapist.
Start finding the right support for you and your missionary.
Explore Personalized Therapy Services at Mountain Home Center
At Mountain Home Center, I provide compassionate, evidence-based treatment for a variety of OCD themes, anxiety disorders, and relationship challenges. SPACE treatment isn’t the only service I offer. My approach is personalized to meet your specific needs, whether you're navigating scrupulosity, relationship OCD, or general anxiety. Understanding the cultural and spiritual concerns of Latter-day Saints and others seeking faith-compatible care, I am dedicated to helping you find balance and peace. My goal is to support your mental well-being while honoring your values and spiritual path.
